Sunday, December 12, 2010
And then came yesterday. Oh lovely December 11th. The Saturday before finals week. The day that I sit at a desk for hours on end cramming knowledge in my head about kidneys, nephrons, capillary beds, arteries, pH balance of the body, electrolyte balance, enzymes - yeah I sat. I did go to the gym prior to the sitting and thinking marathon and walked 2 miles - also did 2 miles on the bike; but the sitting marathon left little time for preparing a meal. Our first plan was to order Sushi from a new local sushi restaurant. Sushi is healthy and it was going to be great! I was excited! Mmmm, spicy tuna rolls, veggie rolls, California rolls - I had enough points to track it, have a nice portion of the Japanese goodness and save a few points for snack later. I called and called our new local place and they simply weren't open. My husband's belly is pretty growly at this point, the children are grumps, it's nearly 6pm - so he mentions Steak n Shake. I scan their menu and determine that this Plan B is not an option. Too many points! So, we chose Chinese take-out, plan C. It was affordable, quick and delivered. I was able to continue studying while our trusty Chinese delivery guy prepared the meal of sabotage.
I planned to only eat 1 cup of fried rice. I had enough points, it was full of veggies - it was an unhealthy, healty-ish treat. Once the food arrived (now nearing 7pm) I was starving! I ended up consuming FAR TOO MUCH in a very short period of time to the point I was uncomfortable. I didn't stick to the plan of only consuming fried rice and moved on to crab rangoons, an egg roll, lo mein and a piece of my husband's orange chicken. I haven't felt that feeling for months! OMG it was horrible. I knew what I had just done, I had pretty much fixed it where the scale was not going to reflect all the hard work I had poured into the week.
In a matter of a few short minutes - I delayed my paycheck. I say delayed because I will see the efforts I made this week. I'm certain the effect was mostly water weight and not an actual gain.
Walking out of my meeting this morning my plan was to really blast myself in this blog. I was peeved that I did this. I was madder than hell that I allowed myself to get that out of control, not only with portion control but food selection the night before a weigh in. The high sodium content is enough to make me hold water like a damp sponge. Unreal!!
But then, I went to Mass. Not to get spiritual or religious here, as I don't typically talk about religion with people I don't know. It's just uncomfortable and I would not want to be perceived as pushing any of my beliefs on to anyone else. The message at Mass, in all honesty, could have come in a form from any place - I just happened to receive it from a very good friend (God) at church. The message was patience.
I heard it loud and clear. BE PATIENT!! Not only with seeing the fruits of my labor on the scale, but with EVERYTHING. I'm not naturally a patient person. I struggle with this on a daily basis. However, for the purposes of this blog we will focus on the food/weight loss aspect.
When I eat, I need to be patient with my body. I need to be patient while consuming the food, so my mind can catch the message from my stomach saying it has had enough. I need to be patient while exercising, knowing I'm not ALWAYS going to get that 20 minute mile in or be able to go as fast as the people that are far more fit around me. I will eventually, but not yet. I need to be patient with the fact that it took years to put on the 230 extra pounds and it's going to take a few years to get it off! I need to be patient with the scale. My losses will show, I mustn't let the idle numbers be discouraging.
Patience is a tough, tough practice but one that is certainly necessary for this type of long term weight loss journey.
So, I wait.
The good news is, I didn't gain. The "bad" news is I didn't lose either. I stayed the same. I know it sounds silly that I got worked up over a week that I didn't gain and normally I don't think I would have - I just worked really hard to make such a foolish decision so close to weigh in. If it had been any other day of the week, it wouldn't have been great, but the scale would have still shown my loss.
Lesson learned. Moving forward. This is going to be a fantastic week and the scale next Sunday is going to show a loss!
Loss this week - 0lbs
Total loss - 43.4lbs