Tonight, I had a discussion with my husband about my relationship with food. Truly, that is my issue, right? I have a really bad relationship with food.
I equated my current plan as "breaking up" with someone. You know, the first week you try to ignore their calls. You hold yourself back from texting them. As time goes on, the loss of them in your life fades and they turn into someone you used to know. (Yes, there is a great song out there about that right now, perhaps hitting repeat 20x in an hour has made this thought stick.) But I digress. Thursday, I broke up with carbs. I broke up with sugar. Oh hell, let's face it, I broke up with FOOD. Never mind, the fact that I do need some food to survive.
Let's just say it's extremely restrictive. I know I've heard all along that restrictive plans aren't the best. But, because it was provided to me by a doctor, and I was seeing an improvement in my blood sugar, I thought I had to give this a shot. I also know several people who have been amazingly successful seeing this doctor and following this plan - so that also helped convince me that it might be the right thing for me to do.
However, I think a "let's just be friends" approach would be better for me? As it was when I had so much success on Weight Watchers. I'm not sure I'm ready to turn my back on tasting food. I'm not sure I can fight the very natural, very primal urges to EAT. Not overeat, not binge, but just eat. Humans need food. We like food. We get pleasure from food. Learning now to balance that pleasure and need is important. Trying to completely cut off the relationship with food, to the point of eating such an extremely low amount of calories and eating one food group - well, it just doesn't work for me.
Honestly, I have been a bit apprehensive about the new plan since the beginning, however, I've been talking myself into staying on track this week - and I have. I have not slipped a single time. However, I feel like I need to move forward with something that is more balanced. I've found myself increasingly weak, tired, dizzy and even confused in the evenings. I think the calorie count is too low for me. I think it's lacking a balance that my body needs.
Additionally, I've found something out about myself. I really, really dislike anything to do with protein shakes. I can't get passed the rotten smell/taste. I also have it in the back of my mind that I don't think it is truly healthy to make an over-processed powder part of a regular diet.
The good news. Damn, it works. Perhaps a little too quickly (based upon how I'm feeling). Since last Thursday I have lost 16 pounds. Yes folks, this is where I put the brakes on. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing that number drop so dramatically, and never in my life have I seen such a drastic change on the scale in such a short period of time, but averaging over a 2lb per day weight loss explains the weakness, dizziness and zombie like feeling I've had in the evenings. Not to mention the headaches.
Tomorrow, I'm making some adjustments. I'm increasing my calories and adding a bit more balance. I appreciate (and somewhat envy) those that could tough this plan out and make it work for them. But, just like I need to learn to listen to my body when it is full and I'm pushing forward to overeat - I feel like I also need to listen to my body with this. I want to feel better, not feel sick. So, I'll celebrate the loss of the week and push forward with the knowledge I have - moderation and balance work best for me.
At least the scale is moving again!